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Saturday, March 25, 2006

Bread, Butter and JAM!!!

Has it ever happened to you that suddenly you wonder if things are really what they seem. Does it feel like sometimes the entire world is looking at conning you into someplace you dont want to go? Do u wonder why things happen? Does it make you stop and think. Does it make you contemplate? Does it make you Laugh at the state the world is in?

Has it ever happened to you that, you wonder why certain things will never change, and certain things change all the time??

The most hilarious and paradoxical event happened to me on friday.
I was in a Traffic Jam!




Now ladies and gentlemen, this is no ordinary traffic jam. This is a traffic Jam, that teaches one that what in reality is, is actually not. Kinda Freudian, but different. This is a traffic jam that makes one wonder what the truth actually is!!

You will all agree that the modern phenomenon known as the "Traffic Jam" is definetely one of the biggest avenues for wastage of of human talent, skill, time, energy, and patience, not to mention the copious amounts of petroleum gasoline, motor oil, steering fluid, transmission fluid, brake fluid, etc.

It takes a lot to endure such scourge. Its a demanding job. Being part of a Traffic Jam! Demanding from the driver and especially demanding from the poor Vehicle.

The jam happened on the ever famous (not) Hosur Road! YUp. This jam was the Mother of all jams. I had finished an event in electronic city for Satyam and was headed back home (Frazer town) . The happiness of having a seemingly well-done Hosur Road was pretty short-lived. The magic of the 6 lane super highway between Bangalore and Hosur blended into nothingness. As I entered hosur road my not so sharp ears already started picking up loud honking and people shouting. I could see kilometers and kilometers of trucks and cars lined up, on their way back to bangalore. And I thought to myself.. Ah! there goes half an hour in a traffic jam. (usual bangalore standards).

Ive heard of nightmarish stories and exasperating tales of being stuck in traffic Jams on Hosur Road. I was thanking my stars and the good GOD above for not letting me be a "software engineer".

Anyways. I ventured boldly into where my car and me had never gone before. And guess what. I was stuck in this jam from 11.10 to 1.50. That is be the LONGest traffic JAM I've ever been in. I agree by standards of people who travel everday to electronic city this must have been a miniscule jam.

But here is what took cake, and made me think about the pride of Bangalore , the 6 lane superhighway. The jam happened 11.10pm to 1.50 am .

Yup. Feel Flummoxed. A traffic Jam in the dead of the night! With the stars above my head. I was stuck in a TRaffic Jam in the middle of the night! How unbelievable is that. The irony eh?

There were trucks and goods vehicles everywhere. Swarming all around like bees from an attacked beehive. Chaos and disorderliness prevailed. You couldn't also miss out on the many humps on the road that only helped in the most bizarre of traffic jams. Not to forget the reckless driving of those blessed truck drivers who think they are the kings at this time of the night. The innumerable unruly city riders and drivers. One carries on with raving and ranting, fretting and fuming, grimacing and grouching, whining and wailing, cribbing and complaning, but then, who's listening to you?? The irony eh?

And in between that the karnataka government is creating the 9 km flyover along Hosur Road leading to Electronic city. To begin in April 2005, this will take 30 months for completion. The 6 lane Super highway causes a jam in the middle of the night, wonder what Expressway is gonna do? The estimated cost of construction of the 9-km elevated super highway is Rs. 450 crores.
Wonder if Chaotic truck guys know that!!!! The irony eh?

I feel I am lucky to only have to travel Hosur road once in a while. I know my friends who work in Electronic City and they spend most of their day on this road. Also bangalore is also the only place you can ever see a traffic police constable controlling the traffic on a flyover bridge, or at a construction site. And expecting a traffic cop in the middle of the night is like expecting the impossible.





Thankfully I had my Caselogic to keep me company for the entire duration. I did manage to catch some sleep too. Only to be woken up by the rude honks from the truckers and tempo guys behind me. In retrospection I probably would have got home faster If I walked home.

Hosur road really set me thinking about where the our city and the civilised world in general is going to. All this infrastructure, civilisation, superhighways, expressways, and Im still stuck in a traffic jam at 1pm in the night!!!!!

Life is after all a bittersweet symphony isnt it?

Bangalore - Garden city? Pcity? City with beautiful women? IT City?? Naaaah!!!
Bangalore is defenitely the Traffic Jam capital of India.

17 comments:

LadyParadox said...

hey! death to all traffic jams! throw all teh lorries overboard and let them drown...

Mind Curry said...

hehe..very nicely written..yeah traffic is a big pain..i am sure though it will all be fine soon.

Anonymous said...

Dude, wait till you come to calcutta,
Missed your favourite movie, ehh? Traffic jams, happens all the time. Look there are 3 things to be certain in this life, Death. Taxes and Traffic jams.

Stacey said...

Wow that's a long wait. No reports of road rage??? AMAZING

Jina said...

:O..Is tht the sweet ole bangalore i knew..now everyone is giving me scary tales ..i am petrified to come back there..i already dread my next month visit..

but heres a lil reassuring thing..atleast u were not stuck in the traffic with water flooding into ur car..for the last mumbai floods i was stuck in traffic for 8 hours with water floodin in my vehicle..with no food n water..

things can deftly get worser dear..:)

quills said...

I visited Blore early last year and even with all the congestion and traffic, I still enjoyed my brief visit. But then one of my dear friends drove me around and so did not really mind the crowded roads. But this time around, I will be coming for a longer visit on work, and will be probably forced to drive or something. Then I guess the fun starts. :) I better start practicing.:))

quills said...

Gosh! and the road to the Electronic City is the worst eh?

Unknown said...

@ Lady Paradox
"Swish.. and the hacksaw blade hacks through their stiff necks!"
But hey. If ever your travelling, how are you gonna shift your goods? hmm?
And how will you live without tomatoes? (transported from TN TO blr by truck)

@mind curry
Thanx bro. All of us are praying for the same thing. All of us!

@Aragorn
Oh buddy! I have come to calcutta. And everytime i'm there I NEVER step out of Shonar Bangla. The stink itself Kills me. The traffic is a far cry.

@stacey
Nope No Road Rage. Im as cool as a cucumber. Havent got angry since 2002. lol.(thats another post eh?)

@Jina
Oh dear, A week or two after the Bombay Deluge, Bangalore saw its own version. I have friends who're still drying their cars. And my stand up comedy routine still includes car "pools". *grin*

But since ur coming here, you can claim strawberries and cream from me. *wink*

@Quills
Hey ask this friend if he'd like to drive a poor RJ around? *cheeky grin*
And when u come down maybe you could buy yourself a cycle?

Anonymous said...

congrats !! getting caught in a traffic JAM is wonderful. It gives you such pleasure, to watch hundreds of masive,sweet sounding vehicles infront of you, and a few hundreds behind you. wow, wat a feeling....*lost in dream world*

Shobha said...

Thank your stars that you haven't been stuck in a traffic jam in Mumbai. It's sad to see Bangalore infrastructure crumbling like this, it's one of my favourite cities :(

Unknown said...

Bangalore is getting worse day by day...it is now or never that the city wakes up to the crumbling image...

Rashmi

Neha said...

gosh i'v heard abt bangalore's traffic jams but i didn't noe things were so so bad there!!
i hate traffic jams.. nt hey always happen when i'm already late.. another irony!
well like u said.. life's full of ironies everywhere n everyday!! :)

quills said...

I guess cycle is the only way to go for me. :(

LadyParadox said...

update anjaan... i be bored! :(

i hang like a star; said...

Bangalore doesn't have the infrastructure to deal with the mess that is traffic!

and indeed..no road rage? wow.

Unknown said...

@Anyonymous
You, Oh! True Modernist! Identify Yourself.

@Shobha
I guess Bombay will be even worse at any given point of time right.

@Rashmi
And thats the way the cookie crumbles.

@Neha
Yup you Nailed it on the Head!

@Quills
Make that a Two Seater

@Humdrum
hahaahahaa. Ze end of the world

@LadyParadox
Yes ma'am

@Priya
Also also.. But the traffic if reduced will reduce the pollution.

@The Star
Nope No Road Rage Whatsoever. Im a Peaceful Peach!

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